I have so many things that I want to write about but I don’t feel like writing about any of them. I just want to lie on the couch with my hot water bottle and drink lots of water and tea and take a long nap.
I’m not always doing well in this period of transition. Sometimes I feel completely and utterly lost, absolutely terrified of what is coming around the corner (or what is not coming around the corner). Sometimes I journal and meditate and take a walk every morning and I still spend an entire week in panic mode anyway. Sometimes someone expresses interest in my editing, and it terrifies me equally as much as it excites me.
I think that this is normal. I think that doing anything risky is going to lead to a period of second guessing yourself. At least, this has always been true for me. This isn’t the first time that I’ve quit a full time job without another lined up behind it. It’s the second time I’ve thrown myself fully into working for myself. I don’t know much but I do know that last time I was just fine even when it didn’t work out, and that when I had to get another nine to five, I was able to find one without too much effort. And that this time, so far, I’m doing okay without one.
I like to think of my blog as a call to action for others to find creativity and confidence and take risks that can help them on their path to their dreams. I also like to think of it as a place where I can be honest, because that is what I’m best at. And sometimes being honest means saying that things don’t feel easy right now.
It might be a funny business strategy to directly connect this blog about my life to my business, but it makes sense to me. Because writing books is incredibly intimate and personal. And I want people to feel like they know intimate parts of me, too, as they are trusting me with their project, their baby.
All this rambling to say that it’s okay to feel off sometimes, and I see you.
Thank you for being here.
Mary E. Nolte 