I’m here! It’s been a longer break than I anticipated but I’m back at it. I knew I wanted to give myself a break for Christmas — no expectations, just working when I felt like it. I honestly planned on blogging anyway but when it came around to it I just didn’t want to. I wanted to put up a book review but I didn’t end up finishing the book so I didn’t. I wanted to blog last week and started this blog post but I couldn’t get myself to finish it. So here we are, a week into 2018, but finally back to writing again.
I used to hate the idea of New Year’s Resolutions, but I’ve come to a point in my life where I think that the end of December/beginning of January is a great time to reflect on your past year and look forward to what you’d like to focus on in the next. Mostly just for myself, I thought I’d take a look back on the things that I learned in 2017.
2017 taught me that:
I should get honest about my feelings, especially to myself. I have spent a lot of time trying to pretend that I feel a certain way just to please others, and this year I realized just how terrible that can be. I ended up in situations that I didn’t want to be in just because I wasn’t clear and honest about my feelings from the beginning. And in that vein…
This year I learned to be clear on what I want. If you don’t ask for the thing that you want, what are the chances that you’ll actually end up with it? I’ve spent a lot of my life being indecisive and I think that I finally realized this year how important it is to sit down and make decisions, even the hard ones. And for me, this starts even at the low level, like being honest with myself about which restaurant I’d rather go to when someone asks. If I’m clear about what I want, then I’ll be happier when I actually end up getting it.
I also learned to trust my instincts and listen to my gut. My first instinct is usually the right decision and I always regret it when I go with something else. (Still learning this one daily).
And maybe most importantly, I learned that I should do the things that I’m most afraid of, even when it feels like I can’t. I was afraid to start blogging because I didn’t want people I know to judge my writing and think it’s terrible. I was afraid to start an Etsy shop for the same reasons. I was afraid to leave my job because I didn’t know what would come next. I’m still afraid of all these things. But I’m going to do them anyway, because I believe that all the big things in life are probably on the other side of fear.
I’ve been a bit all over the place for two weeks now — super anxious because I haven’t found a job yet and just overwhelmed with the process of applying for employment. But the thing that grounds me every single day is the fact that the path to everything I always wanted leads right through today. I just need to get through today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, and someday I’ll be in a place where I’ll look back and know that every day I struggled was worth it to be where I’ve arrived.
Anyway, I hope that this year treats you well. Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my rambles for the day!